come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
