I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
