My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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