BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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