And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
