found the other keg... it's in the tree
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
