And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
