I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
