I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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