Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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