I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
