I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
