Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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