There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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