Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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