so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
