i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
