So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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