There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
