I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
