I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
