Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Couch. On fire.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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