just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
