can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
