There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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