@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
