I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
4 words: hood of his car
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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