Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
