you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
