lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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