I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize