Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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