Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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