Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I died a long time ago.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
