3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
