Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
