Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
