Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
