About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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