remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
no more duck duck goose at the bar
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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