I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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