How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
