i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
