im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
