sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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