Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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