dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
