i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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