I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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