So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
