We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
