so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
